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A Tribute To Quyen Nguyen

OK, upon receiving a special request from a person who will remain nameless, or codenamed as P. Nguyen/Paul N. (either is fine), I have decided to devote one full page to the man known as Quyen Nguyen. Sure, he used to be my best friend in Elementary (prob around 3rd grade for about a year or so), but that was too damn long ago for me to remember, and I barely remember shitting bricks! The last time I saw this spiky - haired sucker was a few months ago when we played basketball with a group of other close friends. He doesn't call, he doesn't write, so this is what he rightfully deserves!

"We're brothers--we're happy and we're singing and we're colored..."

I'm free on Friday nights, Saturday nights, Sun--hell, fucking whore, I'm free every waking second!  Someone fuck me!  Guy or girl!

"Hey, you look a helluva lot like me!"

Likes: It up the ass.
Eats: Shit.
Drinks: Piss.
Sleeps In: Dumpster.
Dresses Up: For homo-erotic events.
Hair Looks Like: He killed a porcupine and used it as a wig.
On Halloween, Is: Gay.
All in all: Makes the lamest personal webpages!

I'm the star of numerous 1-800 Collect commercials...  And somewhere, somehow, someone thinks I'm God forsakenly funny...

"Er?! Could I be your long lost bro'? Or did I just fuck you and then born myself out? HMMM???"

Likes: To have his cherry popped.
Eats: Elephant feces. (Now that's some big shit!)
Drinks: Mountain Dew (Hey, it's a percent away from piss!)
Sleeps In: His mama.
Dresses Up: For every fucking day of his lame-ass existence.
Hair Looks Like: Some shit crawled outta his asshole and plopped itself on top of his head.
On Halloween, Is: Just fucking stupid. Someone assassinate this guy already!
All in all: Whoever made this motherfucker famous in the first place needs to get buttrammed by Michael Jackson!

"Give us a high kick in the ass!"

In conclusion, Mr. Quyen Nguyen here is as funny as Carrot Top. His site is pretty fucking funny like that shitty-ass 1-800 COLLECT spokeswoman... and I'm warning you beforehand that his site may blind you. So don't say I didn't warn you! Hmm...  OK, I feel bad about this tribute... He doesn't really deserve it... It's needless.  He's a good gu--girl? Yeah, that's the word I was looking for!...  Gimme the password to edit your site--damn you, Quyen Nguyen!  Commas and periods exist for a fucking reason, you fucknut!